What is a Vision Quest and Why I decided to do one

As some of you may know last week I was on my second year of the „vision quest“ and I was 4 days and 4 nights on a mountain, on my own, with no food or water. WHAT!? yes no food or water. But let’s start from the beginning. 

Since I move to Sweden, I have struggled a lot, you know changing country, language and most of all, my friends. This stressful situation help me to finally go to a Yoga teacher training and this brought me to a deeper self study. 

At the training I realized many things with myself were just not right, I had been treating myself without ease and (surprise, surprise) I had been ignoring myself for years.

So first I started with some book readings -> anatomy of the spirit, Witch, Moonology, among some others. 

All of them came to the same, „listen to yourself“ so as stubborn as I am, hahaha, I tried to go around one more time. this time it didn’t really work. I was in Israel with one of my friends when she spoke about this „vision quest“ thing her husband was doing. She then explained the complexity of all, being alone in nature, no tent, no food or water. Only you, yourself and nature. She then continue to explain all the benefits this can have and also that is part of many traditions around the world as an initiation ritual into adulthood. 

So far I was ZERO interested into doing this. Some days after I decided to go to a medicine man or Chaman. This because I strongly believe that nature has the cure to all and well a medicine man would be the answer to my prayers. So little I knew, I came to his house and got a cleanse with sage, got some explanation to my problems. My problems are mostly related with fear, anxiety and depression due to traumatic circumstances. 

If you want to have an Idea of how I felt before I started the Vision Quest, I was scared of EVERYTHING  new, I was having a very hard time adapting to Sweden and I was in constant survival modus. 

So actually doing the vision quest was kind of my last resort to be back to myself again, he then explained is not a fast solution and it is about handwork with myself. 

So I prepared, I had to do 405 prayers with tabac and put them all attached in a red rope. Do you know how hard is to get 405 prayers? hahahah. I prayed for every person I know, for nature, for my fear, myself, etc i thought I would not make it to 405, but around the 100 it became easier. 

My first year on the mountain

There I was with my prayers outside the Sweat lodge, ready to go on the mountain. I was petrified, but i came to my spot. I put down my sleeping bag on a rock and a little altar. The first 2 days it was a lot of rain, so I since I had never been in nature like this I was soaking wet and cold. The first time I could only be 2 days and 2 nights on the mountain. But although I felt defeated, and a bit bad for not finishing, I was still very proud of myself for surviving 2 days and nights on the mountain. 

What changed ? 

Well what people around me said, was that my hole energy was calmer and more grounded. What I felt was that I stopped being afraid of the dark and the „unknown“ and some how i was seeing things from different dimension. 

The Second year

Here I go again with the hole prayers and preparation. This time I was decided to do at least 3 days and nights,
I tried to pray for my feelings and to do more prayers in my meditation. It worked. As i said at the beginning, the difficult part is not the food and water, but your thoughts. 

So the first 2 days where fantastic really I enjoyed them, I was talking to the trees, enjoying the stars, loving nature. Then the third day came, the pain from the cold became unbearable. i had never been in so much pain both mentally and physically. but when it was over i was completely another person. 

What changed? 

This time, my hearing became better, before I was unable to listen to tones. Now I can :) Also I feel every feeling stronger. When I kiss my boyfriend I can really feel his kisses. I love it. 

In conclusion I am happy I started this way. It is NOT easy to do so, but so worth it. Confronting pur feeling and thoughts IS scary and many never dare to do it.

I am glad I took the opportunity to confront them and embrace them. 

I am happy to help you if you want to start your vision Quest and if you want to do it in Sweden. 

Please just send me an email or a direct message on instagram or Facebook. 

Love you !